On Facebook I’ve posted quite a few little snippets from life in this place I call ‘Help, get me out’. For some reason they all seem to involve either Thai the cat or Riley (sometimes spelt Ryley because I can never remember what we decided on and he’s lost his dogtag) the completely mental, OCD lurcher/border collie.
We do have other animals, there’s Bella the snake… who was called Severus until she layed eggs one year so we had to rename her Belatrix which doen’t trip off the tongue. And then there’s Morrigan, my little black rat named after the Irish goddess of the dead… as you do. And lastly but by no means leastly (yes I know but it sounds funny) there’s Wolf. Now you would imagine that a dog named Wolf would at least come up past your knee caps and have a bit of a snarl on her face, wouldn’t you… ok so that’s why she now gets called Wooley!
Now I’m not saying we are ruled by our animals… well we’ll forget about everyone else and concentrate on me here. It’s my blog and except for walking and feeding the dogs, and buying the food sometimes no one else does much of anything… I seem to spend my life as a doorperson come waiter come tablet distributor with a large dose of cleaner-outer/hooverer-upper.
Now, like the rest of my family and all bar one of my friends (she’s as nutty as me but has chickens instead of a cat), you are all shouting WHY!!! really loudly at me. I can hear you know, I’m not deaf! So, why, I don’t know… why are you asking me? I’m nutty or weird and I’m in training to be a mad cat woman… although I may be a mad rat woman or a mad dog woman… a mad snake woman is already off the cards, there’s far too much faffing about and even I can’t stand the smell of snake poo and I’ve got a husband and two sons!
I like animals… I like animals more than most people. I am a sucker for a sob story, hence Riley! And I can’t stand a house with no pets in it. Heck I even couldn’t stand a house with no cat in it despite the fact we had all the other guys and a giant african landsnail. You would think the cat would be the one I’d miss least… they are bossy, demanding and stuck up… they bring you live or dead mice, rats and chewed birds or even just a head once in a while. They get worms and you have to try and get a tablet into a mouth that has suddenly turned into a cross between jaws and a vampire with four sets of razor sharp paws that can work their way out of any towel and impale you until the blood splatter starts to look like you’ve had your throat cut. But if you ask the vet to do it they turn into Puss-in-Boots off Shrek when he’s doing his ‘big-eyed- I’m so cute’ and they swallow the tablet straight down. No spitting it round the room, under the fridge or in your eye… just pop and swallow! Hah, you feel like screaming… just for that I’m going to buy a hamster and when it’s grown into it’s full, demonic maturity I’m going to bring it in for a check-up!
Yes… yes I do have a thing about hamsters!